(no subject)

[seekingferret]

What's your favorite part of the Siddur?

It's tough for me to answer, I have so many parts that I deeply engage with. I love so much of the service from Modeh Ani to Adon Olam. But I think I can single out things that are personally special.

I like Birkot Hashachar a lot, even though it's most famous for the problematic shelo asani ishah. The imagery is so vivid, the principle that every part of waking up is worth saying a prayer about. I do say shelo asani ishah, for what it's worth. If anyone, as a woman, finds that hurtful, I'll welcome dialogue on the issue.

I love Az Yashir, this ancient and incredibly beautiful song that we've sung every morning for thousands of years. Singing the Shacharis Az Yashir on Shabbas Shirah, singing it knowing that in a few minutes we'll be singing it again as part of a coherent narrative, singing it knowing that it connects me directly to Moses, is one of the prayer highlights of my year.

I love Atah Chonen in the Shemoneh Esrei. I posted a copy on my dorm room wall for a while and would look at it for inspiration. I am situated within a religious tradition that values intellect, that values hard work and inspiration as the keys to a better world. And so when I recite that daily prayer I thank God not only for providing me with wisdom but for putting me in a place where it's appreciated.

And I love that page at the end of many Siddurim with those assorted random berachos for assorted random occasions. The blessing on seeing a rainbow. The blessing on seeing a thunderstorm. The blessing on eating a new kind of food. The blessing on seeing something unspeakably beautiful in nature. Those blessings are so amazing at teaching you what kinds of gifts we take for granted.

Comments

[schemingreader]

OK, I'll bite. Why do you say "shelo asani ishah" rather than "she asani b'tzalmo"? Isn't that a berachah you recite belachash anyway?

[seekingferret]

Well, not when you're davening for the amud. So this is one reason that I say it, a sort of stupid reason- if I'm going to be davening for the amud I need to daven by community standards, and it's difficult to say one thing when you're davening privately and remember to say something different when you're leading the prayer. And beyond the remembering, there's a consistency issue involved- how can I say a prayer when I'm leading the community I'm not willing to say privately?

The deeper reason I'm unwilling to change to she'asani b'tzalmo or she'asani kirtzono is because I feel like it compromises the poetic integrity of the prayer. The methodology behind Birkot Hashachar is to express gratitude for the specific actions we perform on waking. Shelo asani ishah alludes to the performance of the morning evacuation using the male equipment, not the inherent superiority of men. There is a careful structure to the brachot and I don't feel like I have a sophisticated enough understanding to be able to change that structure without unintended consequences.

One reason I will never offer for saying the prayer is that I'm thankful for the opportunity to perform mitzvot that women cannot. I think the Jewish conception of gender roles is more complicated and meaningful than most secular critics credit it, but I think that would be an incredible distasteful reason to say a blessing, not to mention spiritually impoverished.

But I'm interested in other peoples' approaches to the question because it is something I'm uncertain about. What is your feeling on that bracha? I didn't throw it up for discussion because I wanted people to ask me my opinion, I threw it up for discussion because I'm interested in how it makes people feel to have that as part of the service.

[schemingreader]

Ah, you see, the public/private thing was why I asked! I do understand about community standards. If you recite the "wrong" berachah, people won't consider themselves yotzei. I have had that experience.

I figure, other people who went before me thought they knew enough to say "blessed is the One who has made me in His Image" and I can take that precedent. I obviously can't find a precedent for thanking God I'm not a man (though I can find occasion to do so informally.)

I don't recite morning blessings every morning. This is the time of year when I re-examine my sense of hiyyuv to try to figure out where I am with all this stuff. I have no idea!

I am in a community with people who are deeply committed to the ideal of egalitarianism (at least, on the gender axis.) I'm also married to someone who shopped around for a morning minyan without a mehitzah when he had to say kaddish for his dad. (I mean, an egal minyan, not an all-male one.)