My wife likes to share osprey clips with me, like
this one and
this one. We call ospreys murder birbs. Today she shared
this, and the following discussion full of inside jokes resulted. It helps to be familiar with Monty Python and Eddie Izzard, but hopefully this is funny anyway.
Her: you step on the small baby when getting your fish, it builds character
Me: Wow, omg!!
Me: The baby was so small I had to watch it twice to see the stepping on, but wow.
Me: Those talons!
Me: And it wasn't like "once and oops", it was repeatedly using the baby for traction!
Me: Nature, red in tooth and claw.
Me: I have tears coming out of my eyes right now. 😂
Her: lol
Her: no fucks were given at any point
Her: and it was a newborn too
Me: Yeah, no fucks at all!
Me: At least baby sea turtles don't have to put up with this shit.
Her: I think it's funny because they're up there on that nest for the sole purpose of having those damn babies?
Me: Right?
Me: A murder birb! "What does it do? It does death, baby. Get outta my way!"
Her: lool
Her: litcherally
Me: 😂
Me: If you want to be a future murder birb, you have to survive many attempted murders as a small child.
Me: "My parents stepped on me when I was a baby. And I turned out fine!"
Me: Imagine the 4 Yorkshire birbs!
Her: luxurrry!
Me: I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home... our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."
Her: 😂
Her: pretty much!
Me: I am extremely laughing.
Me: This birb is absolutely prepared to kill the baby and dance about on its grave singing "Hallelujah." As long as there's fish!
Her: that's ospreys for ya
Her: chaotic (evil) is the nature of this birb
Me: Nothing comes between the osprey and the fish!
Me: Not the giant waves of the sea, not the tiny offspring.
Her: albatrosses are a bit nicer, maybe because their babies are humongous 👀
Me: Yeah, don't fuck around with a baby albatross, it'll throw up on you. 🤭
Her: lol exactly
Her: goal: reproduce
obstacle: fish
Me: 😂
Her: birbs are fun ☺️
Me: Very!
Me: Thank you for sharing this
P.S. Throwing up is not an inside joke, it's actually how albatross chicks defend themselves. If you fuck with them, you will end up covered in disgusting goop. It's a surprisingly effective deterrent! (This mechanism is a natural one, because albatross parents feed their offspring by regurgitating food, so the kids already have a rudimentary "bring contents of stomach back up" function.)