(no subject)
Jul. 2nd, 2019 11:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seekingferretI went out for a bike ride on the Middlesex Greenway, a converted rail trail a couple towns over, Sunday in the late afternoon. I haven't gone there since last summer, and I felt like a noticeably stronger rider than the last time. Strava confirms, I beat personal records on segments of the trail by significant margins. But also just in terms of feel, I scaled the climb onto the bridge over the Turnpike without feeling like I was dying afterward. It was a hard climb but it was completely doable. I got home and didn't feel tired at all. It turns out that riding a lot makes you better at riding, and it was nice to have that feeling.
But I struggle mentally, as I have been with several of my hobbies, with benchmarking myself. Strava shows you the top times on various segments alongside my own personal bests, and while benchmarking myself against myself is fine, the times it's showing me for other people are twice as fast as my times. I bumped my time on a 3 mile stretch of the trail from 16:09 last year to 12:43 yesterday... but the top times it shows me are under 7 minutes. It shouldn't be demoralizing but it is.
I have a similar problem with crosswords, and to a lesser degree with vidding. Intellectually I am okay with not being the best, intellectually as long as I'm having fun and getting better I should be satisfied. And I am, until I run across an external benchmark I fall far short of.
Because I like benchmarking my accomplishments, even on hobbies, against other people. I like being competitive, as long as the competition is realistic. I just have to teach my brain how to understand what realistic competition means.
Ideally, I would have people at approximately the same skill level as myself to benchmark myself against. I don't really have that, though. I should work on that.
But I struggle mentally, as I have been with several of my hobbies, with benchmarking myself. Strava shows you the top times on various segments alongside my own personal bests, and while benchmarking myself against myself is fine, the times it's showing me for other people are twice as fast as my times. I bumped my time on a 3 mile stretch of the trail from 16:09 last year to 12:43 yesterday... but the top times it shows me are under 7 minutes. It shouldn't be demoralizing but it is.
I have a similar problem with crosswords, and to a lesser degree with vidding. Intellectually I am okay with not being the best, intellectually as long as I'm having fun and getting better I should be satisfied. And I am, until I run across an external benchmark I fall far short of.
Because I like benchmarking my accomplishments, even on hobbies, against other people. I like being competitive, as long as the competition is realistic. I just have to teach my brain how to understand what realistic competition means.
Ideally, I would have people at approximately the same skill level as myself to benchmark myself against. I don't really have that, though. I should work on that.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-07-02 04:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2019-07-02 05:38 pm (UTC)